Eds. Note: This is a response to Thursday’s guest post, How I met my son’s mother. Have a perspective to share on love and relationships? Read our guidelines, here.

The setup is all too familiar.  Some odd years of rishta searching have clued me in to the familiar tone in my mom’s voice: “Aunty was telling me about this boy…”

Here we go again.

Many failed setups have me well-attuned to what to expect, so I usually brace myself as I listen quietly to the details I’m given – professional and personal, in addition to the usual qualifiers:

“Apparently they’re only looking for a hijabi.”

“The girl has to be willing to move to so and so city.”

“They want a professional girl, but they’re looking for a quick marriage so there can’t be any career tie-downs.”

“They want a girl who’s tall and fair and slim…