Category: Desis
ISNA: Take Two
Over the past Labor Day weekend (SAT & SUN), I attended the ISNA conference at the DC convention center. Last year, I went on SAT (not knowing what to expect) for the speed dating (which the organization refers to as a “matrimonial banquet”). Laugh or scoff, if you will, but over 400 Muslims (of course, in such a short time, it’s hard to scrutinize level of religious engagement) singles attended. I only met a few local guys, so was disappointed. “It’s OK, you had a new experience,” my mom said. Maybe I overdid it this year? I spent a good amount of time, money, and energy to prep for this event: facial (first time), hairstyling (smoothing), new (good quality) makeup, and even a few new accessories, clothes, and 2 pairs of shoes (cute, but comfy).
On SAT, I was (pleasantly) surprised to see an acquaintance of mine (Pakistani-American) outside the hall. We had hung out twice before earlier in the year, when we were in the same Meetup group. We got to chat, sit together (she’s 31, so in my age group), and generally commiserate over the (somewhat bemusing) event. She is tall, a practicing Muslim, and grew up in a mid-sized Southern city. She has several degrees and works currently for a large non-profit. I know she’s serious about finding a potential spouse- she regularly goes to Muslim speed dating events and has also used ISNA online. (Here is her account of this event!)
Even before the doors were opened, I recognized a few people I had met before. There was a petite Bangladeshi-American woman (my age) who was attending w/ 2 gal pals (or perhaps cousins). I’d met her years ago when I first moved to the DC area; we both went to a few Bangladeshi non-profit events. There were (at least) 4-5 guys I’d met last year, I realized later. (Yes, the Bangladeshi engineer from Phoenix, who doesn’t shake hands w/ women, was there. He was much more relaxed! We know some of the same people from Tucson days.)
As before, I was in the group of gals aged 30-35. We did the “round robin” (term used by the organizer which elicited chuckles) w/ guys aged 32-37. We were sitting in groups of 6 to a table- 3 men and 3 women. The tables were pretty small/narrow this time. People were dressed well, for the most part, though SUN was more casual. The makeup was there, but not overly so (as I’d seen last year). Maybe I was just more relaxed? I tend to get nervous before these types of events, not during.
Last year, I noticed that most of the people were Pakistani-American. I was (pleasantly) surprised to see a more diverse group: Arab, Indian, white (at least 1 man in the older age group), black (esp. among the ladies), and biracial (including a man who was Pakistani and black) folks this year. There were not many parents/relatives in attendance, but a few people did say they came with a sister/cousin/brother/friend (who was also single). There were 3 male friends all the way from Toronto suburbs!
Many of the men were doctors- it seemed more than last year. (“That makes sense- doctors are very busy and don’t have a lot of time for dating,” a Christian friend commented later.) There were other men who were in accounting, finance, engineering, and academia; at least 3 who were career switchers (not rare these days). I met more local (DC/MD/VA) guys on SUN, but only a few on SAT. The event took a long time to start on SAT; we only had 19 rotations (a friendly guy later notified me). On SUN, there were supposed to be 26 rotations, but I highly doubt we had time for that! We got 3 minutes to talk to each person, then there was food and social time (6:45 PM-8:45 PM).
This year, ISNA sent out a profile sheet, which we were to fill out and share with each other. Well, as I expected, some guys didn’t fill it out. Some had business cards, but not all. (“If they’re not serious, then why are they there in the first place?” my mom asked.) I had the sheet and my networking cards, which I had gotten months back to hand out to possible friends.
On SUN, the woman sitting directly next to me (a Pakistani-American corporate lawyer from DC), obviously didn’t want to be there. She wore a long/plain maroon shirt, black leggings, and flat sandals (which were cute). It turns out that we both know the same woman (also a single lawyer from Muslim family)- small world! She pushed her chair back from the little table, thus further away from the men. Even before the event began, she made little effort to be friendly to the others at out table. There was no smile, just (thinly-veiled) annoyance on her face. (“What’s the matter?” “You look preoccupied.” These were comments I overheard men make to her.) Each question was met with a brief answer, even from myself and the third woman (a Pakistani-American woman from NJ). Later, the NJ gal (who also worked for a non-profit) commented: “Seems like some of the people didn’t want to be here… Their parents pushed them into it.”
On SAT, a very dapper guy (that my friend had met earlier this Summer) approached her while we were in line for food. They had gone to the same speed dating event, but he hadn’t had time to contact her (since he was traveling for work). She was a little surprised by this, but he gave her his business card and they chatted a bit. Maybe something will come of it?
Also on SAT, we talked (for some time)with an Indian-American family from the Boston suburbs- a brother (specializing in children’s neurological disorders), his sister (moving to NYC for a new job), and their female cousin (who was mistakenly grouped with slightly younger men). They had never been to such a big gathering, and thought it went pretty well. “There’s nothing like this in Boston,” the doctor commented. They don’t speak Hindi, as I assumed, but Gujarati. All of their family is settled in the US, the cousin said.
On SUN, I talked with a Pakistani IT security guy (living in Virginia), who came to eat at my table. He grew up in Qatar and got his masters in Pakistan. He was nice/polite, but didn’t say too much about himself. The NJ woman and Pakistani/African-American guy seemed to have some things in common. They went off to talk on their own; both very nice, friendly, and intelligent people. Maybe they hit it off? Who knows?
South-Asian Young Writers’ Collective (SYWC): Opportunity for Desi High School Girls
South-Asian Young Writers’ Collective (SYWC) is about writing as South-Asian American girls. SYWC is an exciting summer workshop for high school girls, that will meet three times a week at Asian Arts Initiatives (AAI) in Chinatown, Philadelphia, during July and August. Participants will engage in discussions and writing exercises in class, reflect at home in a personal journal, as well as create and contribute to an online blog as a group. Each week, we will explore different themes like labels and identities, gender, food, South-Asians in the media, and applying to college.
In addition, we will have a number of field trips on Fridays and feature writers Bushra Rehman and Kishwer Vikaas, and Samip Malik from South Asian American Digital Archives, as guest speakers.
SYWC will be an opportunity for South-Asian American girls in two main ways:
1. SYWC is a forum for creative self-expression of South-Asian American identity. We approach writing not merely as a technical skill, but also a method to explore the South-Asian diaspora.
2. SYWC is also a safe space to develop a South-Asian American network by exploring our shared identities, differences and establishing personal relationships. Funded by the Swarthmore Foundation, SYWC is the summer project of Afsana Oreen and Sabrina Singh of Swarthmore College.
Details Dates: 07/08/13 – 08/21/13
Days: Mondays and Wednesdays, with some Fridays for field trips
Time: 11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m., with an hour for lunch (provided) at noon
The priority deadline for applications is 06/21/13. We encourage all woman-identifying high school students who are interested in reading, writing, and the South Asian American identity to apply. Application and the program are both free of charge.
Email us at sywc13@gmail.com for an application, or to ask questions.
Please also Like on on Facebook for updates!
https://www.facebook.com/sywcaai?fref=ts
Sincerely,
Sabrina Singh, ’15
Swarthmore College South-Asian Young Writers’s Collective, Co-Founder
Actress Nandita Das at 2013 Cannes Film Festival
Hey readers, I came across this photo (posted on FB), and just HAD to share it! Nandita Das is a naturally beautiful, talented, and socially-conscious actress. Though she doesn’t often appear in typical Bollywood movies, but she’s an indie gem. (A few of my NYC-area pals met her at a film festival a few years back. Boy, was I […]
Three Can’t Miss Films of 2012
English Vinglish
The film’s story worked on many layers, and what I especially admired is how Sridevi becomes the spokesperson for lessons without being too overt about it, save for the ending speech that hammers in the emotion, and is sure to make your eyes well up. It deals with, on a macro level, how as humans we should be helpful and tolerant to those who don’t speak our language or understand our culture, that one shouldn’t be made to think one’s superior just because, or make the other look small. And on the more micro level, the structure of the family and its importance. All these and more, told through a story about a woman finding her inner strength to stand out, stand up and be counted, building and reinforcing confidence that she’s more than just a Laddoo machine. -A reviewer on IMDB.com
Do you loathe typical Bollywood films (w/ vacuous portrayals of women, too old to play college Romeos men, and incongruous songs/dances)? Then this is THE film for you! (I liked it even better than Monsoon Wedding and The Namesake, two fabulous films you should check out.) Two friends and I made the trip to Leesburg, VA to check it out; we live in Silver Spring, MD.
Shashi Godbole (Sridevi) is a beautiful housewife and mother living a comfy life in India. She’s also a well-known caterer of sweets in her area (called ladoos) who regrets the fact that she doesn’t speak/understand English (like her executive hubby and snarky preteen daughter). But she’s still cool in the eyes of her little son. When the entire fam is invited to the US for the wedding of her niece, Shashi jumps at the chance to take a fast-paced English course (led by a quirky British teacher with a motley crew of NYC immigrants). She keeps it a secret, however, which poses certain challenges!
Who is that gorgeous/talented guy who befriends Shashi in the film? It’s French-Algerian actor, Mehdi Nebbou, who’s a BIG star in his native France.
Life of Pi
This is another fine film from director Ang Lee (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon; Sense & Sensibility; Brokeback Mountain, etc.) It incorporates good acting with cool visual/special effects. The teen boy in the film NEVER acted before! (Suraj Sharma lives in Queens and was discovered during an open casting call where his lil bro was auditioning.)
One of India’s finest actors, Irrfan Khan (the dad from Mira Nair’s The Namesake), plays the grown-up Pi/narrator. Another Namesake connection: Tabu plays young Pi’s mom! My own mom (who read the novel by Yann Martel) enjoyed the film, too, as did her friend/neighbor.
Lincoln
In 1865, as the American Civil War winds inexorably toward conclusion, U.S. president Abraham Lincoln endeavors to achieve passage of the landmark constitutional amendment which will forever ban slavery from the United States. However, his task is a race against time, for peace may come at any time, and if it comes before the amendment is passed, the returning southern states will stop it before it can become law. Lincoln must, by almost any means possible, obtain enough votes from a recalcitrant Congress before peace arrives and it is too late. Yet the president is torn, as an early peace would save thousands of lives. As the nation confronts its conscience over the freedom of its entire population, Lincoln faces his own crisis of conscience — end slavery or end the war. -Jim Beaver, IMDB.com
Who could’ve imagined that Irish actor Daniel Day-Lewis would one day play one of America’s most-loved presidents!? (Liam Neeson, star of Schindler’s List was first considered for the role.) Steven Spielberg humanizes Lincoln in this big, yet also small/personal, film.
I esp. liked the scenes w/ Lincoln’s eldest son, Robert, played by Joseph Gordon Levitt (who is becoming one of the young’uns to watch in Hollywood now). Of course, you may know him from the comedy 3rd Rock from the Sun.
My mom was happy to see Sally Field in a big role (after some years); she plays Mary Todd Lincoln with intelligence and emotion (without ever going over the top). Mrs. Lincoln did suffer from depression after the death of her son, Willie, as pointed out in the film. I wanted to see more of Elizabeth Keckley (played by ER‘s Gloria Reuben), who was the dressmaker to Mrs. Lincoln.
Lincoln has class (David Strathairn, one of my faves), humor (James Spader, former ’80s heartthrob), and fiery rhetoric (Lee Pace and Tommy Lee Jones in the House of Reps). Well, Jones adds some humor, too. And yes, the revelation about his character’s (Thaddeus Stevens’) romantic relationship is true!
Knightleyemma 