Tag: Identity

“Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker” (2019) starring Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Adam Driver, Carrie Fisher, & Mark Hamill

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While the First Order continues to ravage the galaxy, Rey (Daisy Ridley) finalizes her training as a Jedi. But danger suddenly rises from the ashes as the evil Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) mysteriously returns from the dead. While working with Finn (John Boyega) and Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) to fulfill a new mission, Rey will NOT only face Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) again, but will finally discover the truth about her parents. She’ll also learn a deadly secret that could determine her future and the fate of the ultimate final showdown to come.

Luke Skywalker: [preventing Rey from throwing her lightsaber into the fire] A Jedi’s weapon deserves more respect.

I (finally) saw this movie 2 wks ago; I saw the previous 2 sequel films in the theater (A Force Awakens and The Last Jedi). Wow, was it a disappointment; I’m sure you’ve heard that before! Now, I’m NOT a huge Star Wars fan, but I do have some interest in it. Director J.J. Abrams undoes a LOT of what Rian Johnson did in the previous film. The first thing I noticed was how unfunny it was; the lighter moments come off as too obvious. A few of the actors are phoning it in; others are doing the best they can (w/ the material that has been given to them). They way that Gen. Leia Organa’s scenes were put together come off as awkward (esp. on the re-watch); Carrie Fisher passed away before this movie was made. Some viewers felt like Leia’s death and her funeral weren’t handled well either.

[through the Force]

Rey: I see through the cracks in your mask. You’re haunted. You can’t stop seeing what you did to your father.

Kylo Ren: Do you still count the days since your parents left? Such pain in you. Such anger. I don’t wanna have to kill you. I’m going to find you and I’m going to turn you to the Dark Side. When I offer you my hand again… you’ll take it.

Rey: We’ll see.

We still have the “force time calls” (LOL- love that term) btwn Rey and Kylo Ren; they kept that from the last film. As w/ the last movie, there is good chemistry between Ridley and Driver. I also thought Ridley and Boyega worked well together before; however, Finn doesn’t have as much to do here. Poe has even less of a role than Finn; from interviews w/ Isaac I could tell he wasn’t enthusiastic about this movie. And what about Finn’s love interest, Rose (Kelly Marie Tran)? If you’re NOT paying attention, you’ll miss her (few/short) scenes at he Rebel base. Rose gets a pat on the back from Finn (no kiss here); more importantly, she doesn’t go on any adventures (ugh)! Some viewers assumed that Finn was in love w/ Rey; others commented that he wanted to talk to her re: being “force-sensitive” (which I also thought).

Finn: The Force. The Force brought me here. It brought me to Rey. And Poe.

Jannah: You say that like you’re sure it’s real.

Finn: It’s real. I wasn’t sure then… but I am now.

We get to see some new planets and aliens (some cute/some weird), BUT we don’t spend much time on anything! I watched some YouTube reviews and podcasts re: this movie; several used the term “fetch quest” (as characters are going from place to place in search of a “MacGuffin” which drives the action). It was fun to see Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams) again; he is one of the few highlights. As for the action itself, I didn’t have any issues w/ it (though Rey’s lightsaber cutting off the wing of Kylo’s TIE fighter was unexpected). It looks like Rey can also heal w/ her touch; I don’t think this was seen in previous films w/ other Jedi. Perhaps this was explained somewhere else, BUT the casual Star Wars viewer won’t know that.

Finn: Why are you helping us?

Gen. Hux: I don’t care if you win. I need Kylo Ren to lose.

There are more new characters to meet, BUT they aren’t V developed. We now have the imposing/eldelry Gen. Pryde (Richard E. Grant); I assumed that Gen. Hux (Domhnall Gleeson) would have more to do. When they travel to the planet Kijimi, we meet Zorii Bliss (Keri Russell- mostly hidden under a big helmet), an ex-gf of Poe. A tiny alien droid expert, Babu Frik (voiced by Shirley Henderson), works on C-3PO (Anthony Daniels). One critic compared Kijimi to “a Victorian X-mas village”- LOL! Finn is surprised/happy to learn that Jannah (Naomie Ackie- who I liked) and her people are also former First Order stormtroopers (who escaped to the planet of Kef Bir).

Emperor Palpatine: Long have I waited, for my grandchild to come home! I never wanted you dead. I wanted you here, Empress Palpatine.

The stakes aren’t that high, as several critics commented. In one (tense) scene, it looks like Chewbacca (Joonas Suatamo), was killed on a transport ship! Rey blames herself; she has been fighting Kylo for power to control the transport. But soon after, we see Chewie merely being held as a prisoner. Zorii somehow has a token that can help Poe and his friends avoid the First Order patrols around her planet. This part reminded at least one viewer of a video game (ugh).

We (finally) learn re: Rey’s true parentage- she’s a Palpatine (which surprised MANY viewers)! It turns out that her parents weren’t “nobodies”- they were hiding from the Emperor. FYI: Rey’s mom is played by Jodie Comer (who was recently in The Last Duel). Many commented that Palpatine looked/sounded like a cartoonish villain; they weren’t impressed w/ his planet or his crowd of Sith (?) followers. Also, the evil version of Rey just looked like bad CGI (and NOT scary at all). As for the kiss between Rey and Ben Solo (after Kylo left the Dark Side), then Ben’s instant death, some audiences laughed (which wasn’t what the filmmakers intended)! The editing comes across as slap-dash; Disney wanted it released in time for the 2019 holiday season. I could go on, BUT I won’t… b/c I’ve spent enough time already.

[1] The first critical error the film makes is by telling us that a secret message has caused a stir in the galaxy: the Emperor is alive. You know, instead of a scroll, perhaps this event — probably the most important thing that’s happened in all three of these post Return of the Jedi films, could have been shown to us so we could grasp just how mindblowing it is. Nope. It’s in words on the screen. The dead speak! This is lazy filmmaking.

It turns out that everything evil in the past few films has come from Palpatine, including Snoke who is just a clone.

[2] With so little time to breathe in the story, the film feels far too rushed which made it very difficult to digest the more convoluted parts of the story. There is also too much going on so the film feels very cramped by the final act, and also too many characters.

[3] The film is running on double time and the speed seems to be used to hide from story questions. Everybody is rushing. History is being revised. No one is throwing away a light saber in this one. Finn never actually say the thing to Rey. It is emotionally safe. I thought they would keep Carrie Fisher in the first act, but they dragged her out there for too long. I won’t say that it’s disrespectful, but it is a little awkward. Overall, this one tries to quickly wrap up the story in a fan friendly way and the last person turns out the lights.

[4] If you want lightsabers and space battles then you get it here. However if you put aside the technical feat, it is very much hollow. I struggled to care about anyone in the film; the dialogue was often clunky, and there was almost nothing natural or organic in there. The writing doesn’t help itself by doing things that seem fan-service at best, and cynical at worst.

[5] This episode boiled down to everybody chasing Rey. Fin was chasing her, Poe was chasing her, Kylo Ren was chasing her, and Palpatine was chasing her. Either someone wanted to help Rey as she wandered away lone wolfing it or someone wanted to convert Rey to the Dark Side–in any case Rey was always being chased. […]

We found that Rey was the most powerful being to ever grace the Star Wars franchise. Master Yoda hadn’t reached the power level of Rey and he lived 800 years! Which is weird because she was exhibiting amazing power though she wasn’t yet a Jedi. Which makes me realize I have no idea what a Jedi is. I thought once she knew how to use the force she was a Jedi, but apparently she was not.

-Excerpts from IMDB reviews

Noir City DC Film Fest: “Road House” (1948) & “Desert Fury” (1947)

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Hey y’all, thanks for reading (hope you also subscribe)! I missed out on blogging re: movies during #Noirvember (yup- again), BUT am gonna share w/ you the 2 films I saw at a local film fest (at AFI in Silver Spring- a FEW blocks from my place). The best part- I met TCM host Eddie Muller (looking classy and full of funny stories) and got my book (Dark City: The Lost World of Film Noir) signed!

Road House (1948) starring Ida Lupino, Cornel Wilde, Richard Widmark, & Celeste Holm

Jefty Robbins (Richard Widmark), owner of a roadhouse in a small town (near the Canadian border), hires tough-talking/world-weary Lily Stevens (Ida Lupino- who does her own singing) for a 6 wk. gig, despite the reservations of his manager/best friend, Pete Morgan (Cornell Wilde). Pete even tries to get Lily to go back to Chicago, offering her some money. Jefty is interested in Lily, as she’s “different from other girls.” He brings her breakfast in bed at her hotel. When Pete goes out of town for a fishing trip, Lily turns her charms on Pete, who is resistant. Pete usually dates the roadhouse cashier, Susie Smith (Celeste Holm). Events bring Pete and Lily closer together, until they fall in love. Lily turns down Jefty’s marriage proposal. Then, Pete and Lily have to face Jefty’s intense jealousy!

Susie: She does more without a voice than anybody I’ve ever heard!

Road House was director Jean Negulesco’s 1st film for 20th Century Fox; he had recently been fired by Warnes Bros. Darryl F. Zanuck told him, “This is a bad script. Three directors have refused it. They don’t know what they’re doing, because basically it’s quite good. Remember those pictures we used to make at Warner Bros., with Pat O’Brien and Jimmy Cagney, in which every time the action flagged we staged a fight and every time a man passed a girl she’d adjust her stocking or something, trying to be sexy? That’s the kind of picture we have to have with Road House.”

Not only was Lupino (one of Muller’s faves) a good actress, she also had a head for business (purchasing the rights to the movie for $20K). This film was a year after Widmark played a sadistic killer in Kiss Of Death. As Jefty, Widmark gets to show some of his “regular guy” side, but evolves (or devolves) into a very troubled man. Wilde’s role is as the straight man (which can be dull), but he does a good job. Wilde and Lupino have strong romantic chemistry. Holm gets the (thankless) role of the “girl next door” who’s overlooked, but she handles it well. I really liked the production design on this film; scenes in the roadhouse’s bowling alley were shot at a real alley located near the studio. Check this movie out- it’s one I think MANY will enjoy!

[1] Despite the hole-riddled ending, it’s still worth seeing because of Lupino’s and Widmark’s performances. She is great as the 2nd-rate singer (singing her own songs with a decent but obviously less than stellar voice–which was perfect for the role)… Widmark was interesting because he combined two totally different performances in one film…

[2] “Road House” is an engaging film–noir with a storyline of unrequited love and obsession. Ida Lupino has an impressive performance, singing with a wonderful husky voice. […] This film is also the third appearance of the outstanding Richard Widmark and his insane smile on the cinema. Cornel Wilde and Celeste Holm complete the dream cast of this unknown gem. 8/10

[3] Widmark’s character is by far the most interesting. A little unbalanced at the beginning, he turns crafty and bitter before he loses it altogether. There’s a good deal of pathos in the character.

-Excerpts from IMDB reviews

Desert Fury (1947) starring Lizabeth Scott, John Hodiak, Burt Lancaster, Wendell Corey, & Mary Astor

Fritzi Haller (Mary Astor) is a powerful casino owner in Chuckawalla, a small town in Nevada. Her 19 y.o. daughter Paula (Lizabeth Scott) has quit school; she returns at the same time as racketeer Eddie Bendix (John Hodiak), who left under suspicion of murdering his wife a few years ago. Paula and Eddie become involved, despite the big age gap and her being warned against him. Fritzi, a deputy/Paula’s friend Tom Hanson (Burt Lancaster) and Eddie’s companion Johnny Ryan (Wendell Corey- his film debut) try to break up the relationship. Then, Eddie’s past catches up w/ him in an unexpected way!

This is the kind of B movie that ONLY a true fan of noir will like (or tolerate)- LOL! Seeing it w/ a audience helped, as did the intro from Muller. The music is unnecessarily dramatic, overpowering some scenes. Fans of this genre MAY be surprised to see Scott as the lead here; she was a limited actress (though V conventionally pretty w/ a distinctive/husky voice). Lancaster (looking esp. handsome w/ his tousled hair and leather jacket) has the straight-shooter role here; Tom (in his late 20s) cares for/is protective of Paula. She doesn’t have many friends in town; other kids stayed away from her b/c of her mother’s profession. The romance between Paula and Eddie isn’t as interesting as the (enigmatic) relationship between Eddie and Johnny. Corey gets a meaty role for his first role; a villain w/ many layers, Johnny is V protective over his friend.

[1] Made in 1947 in perfect glossy Technicolor to distract you from the beserkness and tawdry storyline, this is one terrific exercise in censorship busting antics that managed to fulfill it’s reputation. […] DESERT FURY is genuine queer cinema. With incest hinted, guns and car tire screeching, sinister sunglass wearing and cactus pricks everywhere…

[2] Desert Fury is one of those several films from the studio days where gay was strictly taboo yet it somehow got to the screen. That scene where Corey tells Scott how he met a ragged and hungry Hodiak at the Automat and bought him a meal and took him home sure sounded like a pickup to me. Many from the generation before Stonewall told me that the Horn & Hardart Automat was one of the great pickup places in New York. Romances and flings have started in stranger places. No way that the writers would not have known that. Corey’s devotion to Hodiak can’t be explained any other way as the story unfolds. In fact he’s the stronger of the two.

[3] The best part of Desert Fury is Edith Head’s costumes. Every single scene, Lizabeth and Mary are dressed in gorgeous dresses that will have you oo-ing and ahh-ing for the entire running length. Lizabeth is very pretty in this film, and dressing her up in such beautiful costumes only makes it more fun to watch her, even when she’s exercising bad judgement.

-Excerpts from IMDB reviews

Connery Returns: “Diamonds are Forever” (1971)

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James Bond (Sean Connery- at 40 y.o. w/ bushier eyebrows) has a new mission- find out who has been smuggling diamonds. He takes on the identity of “transport consultant” Peter Franks and joins up w/ Tiffany Case (Jill St. John), an American diamond smuggler. Mr. Wint (Bruce Glover- father of Crispin) and Mr. Kidd (Putter Smith) are the dangerous/eccentric duo tailing Bond. Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Charles Gray- who played a British ally in You Only Live Twice) also has his hand in this game; he has changed his looks (again). Can Bond finally defeat his ultimate enemy?

M: We do function in your absence, Commander.

George Lazenby was asked to make a second Bond movie, but declined. Burt Reynolds was the first choice to replace him, but was unavailable. Roger Moore was offered the role of Bond, but he was unavailable due to his commitment to a TV series. Tall/handsome Mexican-American actor John Gavin (best known for his supporting role in Psycho) was signed to play Bond in this movie. Adam West turned down the role b/c felt that Bond should be a British actor. Michael Gambon turned down the role because he was “in terrible shape.” At the last minute, Connery agreed to return as Bond; Connery was paid $1.25M (a figure unheard of in those days); he donated it to the Scottish Education Fund (which is awesome)! Albert R. Broccoli insisted that Gavin be paid the full salary, for which his contract called.

[Tiffany Case opens the door almost nude]

Bond: That’s quite a nice little nothing you’re almost wearing. I approve.

Tiffany: I don’t dress for the hired help. Let’s see your passport, Franks.

[Bond gives her his passport. She looks it over]

Tiffany: Occupation: Transport Consultant? It’s a little cute isn’t it? I’ll finish dressing.

Bond: Oh, please don’t, not on my account.

Tiffany (the first American Bond Girl) is argumentative, loud, and brash when compared to previous Bond girls; she was meant to be a commentary on American women. Actresses considered for the role of Tiffany included Raquel Welch, Jane Fonda and Faye Dunaway. Jill St. John had originally been offered the part of Plenty O’Toole, but landed the lead after impressing director Guy Hamilton during screentests. Tiffany’s home was actually owned by Kirk Douglas- how cool!

[Mr. Kidd spots Bond and Tiffany at the airplane. He returns to his seat]

Mr. Kidd: [to Mr. Wint] They’re both aboard. I must say Miss Case seems quite attractive…

[pause]

Mr. Kidd: …for a lady.

[Mr. Wint glares at Mr. Kidd]

Mr. Kidd: Heh heh heh heh!

[Mr. Wint, unamused, still glares at Mr. Kidd]

Producers cast Lana Wood (sister of Natalie) as Plenty O’Toole after seeing her in Playboy. Her voice was dubbed and she is standing on a box for some of her scenes w/ Connery (b/c even in high heels, she was too small to fit into the frame w/ him). Unlike her sister, Lana is a very wooden (pardon the pun). Willard Whyte (Jimmy Dean- best known for his sausage commercials) was based on Howard Hughes. Whyte owned the Whyte House in this movie; Hughes owned a real Las Vegas hotel (the Desert Inn). Dean was an employee of Hughes at the Desert Inn; he later confessed that he was uneasy portraying a fictional version of his boss. Shady Tree (Leonard Barr) is based on veteran Vegas comedian Shecky Greene.

[while fumbling inside the pipeline, Bond sees a rat]

Bond: Well, one of us smells like a tart’s handkerchief. [sniffs] I’m afraid it’s me. Sorry, old boy.

One of the first things I noticed re: this movie- it looks a BIT cheap (and NOT only b/c it’s set mainly in Vegas). Because of Connery’s high fee, the special effects budget was scaled back. Bond’s escape through a moon landing “movie set” refers to the popular conspiracy theory of the time that the real moon landings were faked. This may be confusing to some (younger) viewers- LOL! The Moon Buggy was inspired by an actual N.A.S.A. vehicle, but w/ additions like flailing arms (as the producers thought it didn’t look “outrageous” enough). It was capable of road speeds; the fiberglass tires had to be replaced during the chase sequence b/c the heat and desert soil ruined them.

Some scenes here have NOT aged well! Plenty is caught by some thugs, wearing nothing but her underwear and high heels, and tossed into the pool. Some fans/critics noted that this has misogynistic undertones. The same can be said of the opening teaser scene where Bond interrogates a woman by pulling up her bikini top and nearly strangling her w/ it. Wint and Kidd hold hands in one scene and banter like a romantic couple; some viewers felt this portrayal wasn’t so bad, but others called it homophobic.

[1] …Sean Connery is back–too bad the film, in many ways, sucked. That’s because by now, the plots seemed more like comic books and the character of Bond seemed more like self-parody than anything else. While in the past Connery played his character rather straight, here he was playing a smirking and smug guy–as if he was looking at the camera and saying “ain’t I cute?”

[2] …we have a tacky script that relies too much on slapstick and unfocused direction. And the acting is not great, Sean Connery is my favourite Bond mainly due to his suavity and charisma but he seems bored and uninterested here and gives an unusually flat performance in the role…

[3] The globe-trotting action takes in Amsterdam and Las Vegas this time around, culminating with an explosive action set-piece on an oil rig in the Atlantic. There are many varied locations used, from action in hotel rooms, circuses, gambling halls and even the desert. There are only two chase scenes in the movie but both are goodies… […] Finally, the action set-pieces are also rather good. The standout is a fight to the death in an old-fashioned lift, of all places, featuring Connery going fist-to-fist with boxer Joe Robinson.

[4] When he first showed up on screen I was taken aback by his aged appearance, looking quite much older than his forty years at the time. […] Story wise, the diamond smuggling concept started out strong but seemed to get frittered away as the film progressed.

-Excerpts from IMBD reviews

Meet the New Bond: “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” (1969) starring George Lazenby, Diana Rigg, & Telly Savalas

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George Lazenby (an Aussie car salesman/part-time model) steps into the role of James Bond (after Sean Connery refused). Bond meets the 2nd most powerful leader of a criminal org, Marc-Ange Draco (Italian actor Gabriele Ferzetti), and becomes close w/ Draco’s daughter, Tracy (British TV star Diana Rigg). She was 38 y.o. at that time; she looked classy and confident. Bond then heads off to hunt down Ernst Stavro Blofeld (now played by a American TV star- Telly Savalas) in Switzerland, posing as ancestry expert/professor, Sir Hilary Bray (George Baker). The remote facility (supposedly for allergy research) is heavily guarded and managed by a German woman, Irma Bunt (Ilse Steppat). Anglophiles will get a kick out of seeing a V young Joanna Lumley as one of Blofeld’s international ladies; she went on to comedic fame in Absolutely Fabulous.

Actors considered for Bond included Americans and Brits: Adam West (Batman), Jeremy Brett (Sherlock Holmes), John Richardson (a conventionally handsome up-and-coming actor), Oliver Reed (who went on to have a great career- his last role was on Gladiator) and Roy Thinnes (who I know from One Life to Live). Having secured a suit ordered, but uncollected by Connery, and getting a Rolex and haircut like him, Lazenby talked his way into meeting producer Albert R. Broccoli, producer Harry Saltzman, and director Peter R. Hunt. After falsely claiming he had acting credits, he got a screentest. Lazenby then confessed to Hunt that he wasn’t an actor. Hunt laughed and said, “You just strolled in here and managed to fool two of the most ruthless bastards in the business. You’re an actor.”

As of 2021, Lazenby is the youngest actor to portray 007, as he was only aged 29 during filming. We see the only signature gun barrel sequence where Bond drops down on one knee while shooting at the audience. The theme song We Have All the Time in the World was the last song that Louis Armstrong recorded; he died 2 yrs later. Lazenby wanted to do most of his own stunts, but the studio wouldn’t allow him. During one of the stunt scenes, Lazenby broke his arm, delaying the filming of many of his later scenes.

Though Lazenby doesn’t have as much charisma as Connery, he looks good in the outfits and carries himself w/confidence (no doubt b/c of his experience as a model). You can tell that he hasn’t acted before- for sure! Many viewers noted that Lazenby has good chemistry w/ Rigg in their romantic scenes. Savalas (best known as Kojak) does a fine job in his villain role. As for Draco- ugh- he’s a misogynist who thinks his daughter needs to follow his ideas. He tries to arrange a marriage (no joke) between Bond and Tracy- yikes!

What I liked about it, that we’ve tried to emulate in this film [Inception], is there’s a tremendous balance in that movie of action and scale and romanticism and tragedy and emotion. -Christopher Nolan (filmmaker)

There is a freshness and energy here, unlike most of the previous franchise films. It also looks a lot better; it had a $7M budget, a shooting schedule of 9 mos. (half on location), and a crew of 120. These filming techniques appeared for the 1st time: slow-motion (Bond is knocked out in his bedroom), flashback (Bond remembering Tracy being captured), and “breaking the fourth wall” (Lazenby looking into the camera after saying “This never happened to the other fella”).

[1] …this is my vote for the best James Bond film. No, it’s not because I am a George Lazenby fan. Despite this Aussie not being right for the role, this movie deserves kudos for being so intelligently written–possessing a depth that was never equaled in any other Bond film. Bond, for the first time, was human. Another reason I loved this film is because it was a very long and complex film–making it seem leisurely yet exciting throughout.

There are two plots in the film that run concurrently. First, Bond happens upon a very spoiled and confused lady (Diana Rigg). She is an emotional mess and she needs stability in her life. In a very odd choice, she drifts towards the usually irresponsible and shallow Bond–who in his own way needs her as well. Second, Blofeld is back again and he’s up to something–but what this diabolical scheme is, no one knows.

In addition to the exceptional plots and writing, this film also had amazing but appropriate stunt-work. The skiing scenes were amazing…

[2] It is not the best Bond but it is light years away from the worst. George Lazenby may be a tad inexperienced and the least charismatic of the Bonds, but he is still likable and does try hard, that I can see. (…) Terry Savalas is great as Blofeld, and Diana Rigg is splendid as Tracy. The cinematography and scenery are beautiful, and John Barry’s score and Louis Armstrong’s theme song are simply terrific. In conclusion, better than I thought and dare I say underrated.

[3] I’m not going to put 100% of the blame on Lazenby but I really wonder what the hell the producer’s were thinking. I’m sure they did screen tests or something and at some point they must have known that the actor simply couldn’t pull off anything in the role. He didn’t have the look to believed as a sex symbol and he didn’t have the acting talent to pull off some of the darker, more serious moments that the film goes for. I also thought his comic timing was downright horrendous and made for some really embarrassing moments…

[4]Rigg is every spy’s dream: a madly attractive woman with plenty of intelligence and also spirit, as she reveals in the climax when she tackles a thug.

The movie also benefits from some decent, fast-paced action scenes and genuinely funny humour. This was the first time Bond went skiing and his antics on the slopes easily beat those of Moore. The snowbound locales make for plenty of inventively staged set pieces, like the car chase taking place in a stock car race or the high-rise antics around a cable car.

-Excerpts from IMDB movies

Bond Meets Blofeld: “You Only Live Twice” (1967)

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During the height of the Cold War, the US and the Soviet Union lose one spacecraft each, after they are both seemingly swallowed whole by a large UFO. The two superpowers are quick to blame one another, causing tensions to skyrocket. The UK has an alternate theory re: the disappearances; they send top spy- James Bond (Sean Connery)- to investigate in Japan. With the help of the Japanese Secret Service, Bond uncovers a plot more sinister than anyone could’ve imagined.

[James is in bed with a Ling, a Chinese woman]

Bond: Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?

In the pre-credits scene, we hear one of the MOST cringe-worthy lines ever spoken in a movie! FYI: Ling is played by Tsai Chin, who had a long career in both Chinese/English language films (thus avoiding the Bond girl curse). I liked the stuff about Bond pretending to die. Henderson (Charles Gary), the British agent in Japan, has a small role (but was interesting). I learned that Blofeld’s impressive volcano lair cost $1M to create- wow! We (finally) see the super-villain Blofeld (Donald Pleasance) who has a prominent scar on his face. As even some long-time fans have said, this movie hasn’t aged well. Connery looks and sounds bored/tired; he even walks in a different way (sometimes slouching). His hairpiece doesn’t even look good! As one critic commented: “Connery is phoning it in.”

Tiger Tanaka: I must say I am disappointed with the ease with which I could pull you in. The one thing my honourable mother taught me long ago was never to get into a car with a strange girl. But you, I’m afraid, will get into anything. With any girl.

I liked the setting and scenery; also, the mini-helicopter (Little Nellie) was pretty cool. the Japanese Secret Service members are portrayed in a (mostly) positive manner. Tiger Tanaka (Tetsuro Tanba) is in charge; he’s affable and professional. Aki (Akiko Wakabayashi) is the agent who falls for Bond; she has a (very cool) death scene. Too bad that Bond doesn’t even have a minute to mourn her though-ugh! Helga Brandt (Karin Dor) is the assassin who captured Bond for a time, but he (of course) managed to disarm her. Kissy Suzuki (Mia Hama) is the agent posing as a village woman who Bond pretends to be married to. In the last act, Kissy is ONLY wearing a small white bikini. He also pretends to be Japanese for a time and trains to be a ninja- part of Tanaka’s plan.

Blofeld: James Bond. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ernst Stavro Blofeld. They told me you were assassinated in Hong Kong.

Bond: Yes, this is my second life.

Blofeld: You only live twice, Mr. Bond.

[1] While I grudgingly will admit that the Roald Dahl (yes, THAT Dahl–the “Willie Wonka” guy) script is very exciting and high on the “cool factor”, it is also silly and ridiculous throughout.

[2] This time out, perennial Bond villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld is portrayed by Donald Pleasence in a spirited performance that would provide the inspiration for Dr. Evil in “The Spy Who Shagged Me”, courtesy of Mike Myers. Some of the antics in this picture are pretty ridiculous, like Little Nellie with Bond at the controls taking out four attack helicopters, and James Bond (Sean Connery) himself becoming a Ninja master after three days of training!

[3] Ever since Mike Myers mercilessly mocked You Only Live Twice in Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, it’s been impossible to take this particular Bond adventure seriously; but to be honest, the film was always pretty ridiculous in the first place, stretching plausibility further than ever before in an effort to up the ante in terms of crowd-pleasing spectacle.

-Excerpts from IMDB reviews