Tag: Marraige

Book Review: “American Dervish” by Ayad Akthar

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Hayat Shah is a young American in love for the first time. His normal life of school, baseball, and video games had previously been distinguished only by his Pakistani heritage and by the frequent chill between his parents, who fight over things he is too young to understand. Then Mina arrives, and everything changes.

Mina is Hayat’s mother’s oldest friend from Pakistan. She is independent, beautiful and intelligent, and arrives on the Shah’s doorstep when her disastrous marriage in Pakistan disintegrates. Even Hayat’s skeptical father can’t deny the liveliness and happiness that accompanies Mina into their home. Her deep spirituality brings the family’s Muslim faith to life in a way that resonates with Hayat as nothing has before. Studying the Quran by Mina’s side and basking in the glow of her attention, he feels an entirely new purpose mingled with a growing infatuation for his teacher.

When Mina meets and begins dating a man, Hayat is confused by his feelings of betrayal. His growing passions, both spiritual and romantic, force him to question all that he has come to believe is true. Just as Mina finds happiness, Hayat is compelled to act — with devastating consequences for all those he loves most.

-Synopsis of the novel (Amazon)

As some of you know, I’m a V slow reader, BUT I managed to finish 75% of this novel (according to my Kindle)! I’ve been following this author for a few yrs now; in 2017, journo Bill Moyers said of Akthar: “We finally have a voice for our times.” One of my friends read American Dervish a few years ago; she didn’t recall ALL the details, BUT said that she’d never read something like this before. She passed it onto a friend, then that friend gave it to another. A newcomer to the book club said she also liked the book- subject matter and writing style. The moderator who read it 2 yrs ago said that this book goes into the issues faced by ABCDs (American Born Confused Desis), NOT only those particular to Muslims. 

WARNING: This post contains SPOILERS for the novel. 

NOTE: The following topics/questions (which my book club discussed) can be found here: https://www.bookbrowse.com/reading_guides/detail/index.cfm/book_number/2649/american-dervish

Do you think that one has to reject one identity in order to embrace another? What choice does Hayat make? What will the result be?

I think that children and adolescents (such as Hayat Shah, the protagnist/narrator) can often feel this way; my book club agreed w/ this comment. For Hayat, he identified as a Muslim, at least as a preteen boy. His goal was to be a hafiz (someone who knows the Quran by heart), though his father was dead set against this plan. Akthar said in several interviews that he was V interested in Islam as a child; he convinced his (secular) parents to take him to the local mosque and allow him to study the Quran. 

Hayat’s mother and father have a difficult relationship. In fact, all of the relationships between men and women in the book are complex, often troubled. What might the author be saying about such relationships within this culture?

Back in Pakistan, Mina’s first marriage turned sour b/c of her abusive mother-in-law. Her husband didn’t do anything to stop this, so Mina made the drastic decision to go to the US (w/ her son Imran). She couldn’t go back to her parents; they had urged her to stay w/ her husband’s family (she was rejected in her time of need).  

The newcomer to our group said that there were messed up power dynamics between Hayat’s parents; his mother (Muneer) didn’t have a job, so his father (Naveed) has all the money (thus the decision-making power). The ONLY relationship that was positive was between Hayat’s mom’s best friend, Mina, and his father’s friend/colleague, Nathan. They have an old-fashioned courtship, under the watchful eye of Muneer for about a year. This is a kind of fix-up, though based on mutual respect and admiration. Mina and Nathan talk re: books and ideas, share meals, and grow to love each other. When Hayat asks why they can’t be alone, his mother explains that Mina is a Pakistani woman, so “dating” is out of the question.

Hayat’s mother has grown angry and bitter b/c her husband drinks (secretly, he thinks) and cheats on her w/ white women. The women are possibly nurses at the hospital where Dr. Shah conducts research. Hayat’s mother, Muneer, refers to the other women as “mistresses” and “prostitutes.” Her view of white women is thus very negative, though she has a positive view of the Jewish people (incl. Nathan). In one scene, Muneer says that she’s raising Hayat “like a little Jew” (so that he’ll grow up to love and respect women).

Do you think it’s valid and/or authentic for male authors to write about feminist issues? What was your feeling about the portrayal of women in American Dervish?

Yes, someone can be “a male feminist,” my friend said quickly. Akthar said that he was inspired by the women in his life, incl. his own mother (a medical doc), his aunts, and various Pakistani immigrant women from the community of Milwaukee, WI (where he grew up). 

What are the different visions of Islam portrayed in the book?

Naveed (a man of science) has a contempt (perhaps even hatred) of Islam; this is echoed in Disgraced, where Amir even hides his origins. Naveed makes fun of Nathan when the younger man shows an interest in the religion. After Mina and Nathan’s break-up, he declares to his son that he “never wants to see you w/ that book [the Quran] ever again.” On the flip side, Mina wants to know more re: Islam; she studies and also teaches Hayat for a time. She is BOTH religious and spiritual, explaining to Hayat that it’s the “intention” of an action that counts. 

What did you think of the relationship between Islam and Judaism in the novel?

This is a tough one (IMO), b/c in this novel, these religions are put at odds w/ each other. Mina rejects Nathan (a cultural Jew) b/c he doesn’t want to convert to Islam. After all, he had a shocking/scary experience the one time he attended the masjid. Naveed warned him, BUT Nathan’s curiosity and love for Mina compelled him to give this religion a chance. Muneer, who had such high hopes for the pair, is disappointed when they don’t marry. She saw Nathan as a decent man and great choice for Mina, even though he was white and Jewish. I feel that Muneer wanted her friend to have a better life than herself. 

 

Spoiler-free Reviews: Black Panther & A Quiet Place

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Black Panther

I was a BIT late to see this film (went about two weeks ago), BUT (luckily) was NOT spoiled on everything. Whew, what a relief- some twists and relationships weren’t discussed in my movie podcasts!  Fans of This is Us and Get Out will get pleasant surprises. I really enjoyed this comic book movie (rare for me); the chemistry between the actors was great. I’d never seen much of the actor who played Tchalla (Chadwick Boseman) who’s almost 40 (WOW)! Michael B. Jordan is his baddie foil (yet NOT an unsympathetic character). My friend esp. liked Letitia Wright (who is a Brit) who played Shuri, Tchalla’s spunky scientist sister.  How rare is it to see a young black woman as a scientist in a mainstream Hollywood film! There are other great female supporting characters: Tchalla’s former gf, Nakia (Lupita N’yongo), his mother Ramonda (the timeless/regal Angela Bassett), and captain of the royal guard- Okoye (Danai Gurira, also a celebrated playwright). Everyone is in incredible shape; even Martin Freeman looks better (trimmer and w/ a stylish haircut). Check this movie for yourself ASAP!

A Quiet Place

Whoa, who knew John Krasinski (most known for The Office) would be such a good director! He takes on the lead also in this sci-fi/thriller style movie (which my friend though was genre-defying). Krasinski’s real-life wife, Emily Blunt (a Brit who I always enjoy watching), plays his wife here. They have a family (a teen daughter and two younger sons) and live in a rural, perhaps post-apocalyptic, world. The key to their survival- being as quiet as they can be while going on about their daily lives. Why is this so crucial? You must see the film to find out! It’s NOT going to be everyone’s cup of tea, BUT I found it quite compelling. It has received many positive reviews and the box office results are (unexpectedly) good. One media critic described this movie by saying: “It’s what I would’ve expected if M. Night Shamylan hadn’t gone downhill.” 

 

 

Phantom Thread (2017) starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Vicky Kreips, & Lesley Manville

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WARNING: This review contains SPOILERS for the film.

Set in the glamour of 1950s post-war London, renowned dressmaker Reynolds Woodcock (Daniel Day-Lewis) and his sister Cyril (Lesley Manville) are at the center of British fashion, dressing royalty, movie stars, heiresses, socialites, debutants, and dames with the distinct style of The House of Woodcock. Women come and go through Woodcock’s life, providing the confirmed bachelor with inspiration and companionship, until he comes across a young, strong-willed woman, Alma (Vicky Krieps), who soon becomes a fixture in his life as his muse and lover. Once controlled and planned, he finds his carefully tailored life disrupted by love. -Synopsis from Focus Features

Arguably the strongest part of the film, the score possesses Paul Thomas Anderson’s signature strange aura that is found in several of his other films. While most movies nowadays would use music to heighten drama, he rejects the common norm; valuing music to form an atmosphere.

The acting is very strong, as the film’s performances can feel slightly subdued and low-key before creeping up on the viewer to create a sharp but simple impact. The movie’s script is a delight, managing to pull of a genuine hat-trick by feeling both simple and complex at the same time. 

Ms. Krieps goes toe-to-toe with Daniel Day-Lewis in their scenes. Her blushy cheeks and determined eye of observation bely an inner strength that isn’t necessarily obvious at first glance. 

-Excerpts from IMDB reviews

Director Paul Thomas (P.T.) Anderson got the initial idea for this film while he was sick in bed one day. His wife, actress Maya Rudolph, was tending to him and gave him a look that made him realize that she had NOT looked at him with such tenderness and love in a long time. P.T. Anderson wrote the script in collaboration with Daniel Day-Lewis (DDL). The actor suggested the name of his character be Reynolds Woodcock as a joke, BUT Anderson found that hilarious and kept it. To prep for his role, DDL (renown as a method actor) watched footage of ’40s and ’50s fashion shows, studied famous designers, consulted with the curator of fashion and textiles (Victoria and Albert Museum), and apprenticed under Marc Happel (head of the costume department at the NYC Ballet). DDL also learned how to sew. He said that this would be his final film. 

When I was a boy, I started to hide things in the lining of the garments. Things only I knew were there. Secrets. -Reynolds explains to Alma on their first date

Fastidious fashion designer, Reynolds Woodcock (DDL) meets waitress Alma (Vicky Kreips- an actress who comes from Luxembourg) when he stops for breakfast at a little restaurant on the way to his country house. He orders a huge breakfast; it’s obvious that they’re interested in each other. After dinner at a fancy restaurant, Reynolds takes Alma to his house where he puts her on a pedestal (literally) and begins to measure her for a dress. She is surprised, yet intrigued. 

I cannot start my day with a confrontation. I simply have no time for confrontations. -Reynolds explains to Alma over breakfast 

The tea is going out. The interruption is staying right here with me. -Reynolds complains to Alma when she comes to his workroom to serve him tea.

In no time, Alma is living in Reynolds’ London house; she has her own room (next door to his). It turns out that Reynolds and his business partner/sister, Cyril (Lesley Manville- a British character actress), are a package deal. It’s NOT an ideal situation for Alma, though she gets used to this unique life. The domestic space is also a business, so there are people around most of the time (servants, seamstresses, etc.) Alma is fitted for fine dresses, serves as a model, and meets famous clients of the House of Woodcock. However, she grows dissatisfied w/ her (undefined) role in Reynolds’ life. He puts his work first and doesn’t apologize for it; she wants him to be nicer (instead of critical and demanding). Alma wants to get married; Reynolds thinks of himself as “a confirmed bachelor.” Eventually, he realizes Alma is different than his past girlfriends; he loves her and needs her around. 

Some have embraced this film warmly; after all, it deals w/ compromise in romantic relationships, the everyday trials of domestic life, and challenges of being involved w/ an artist. This film has problematic elements (esp. for modern/feminist viewers), though it’s well-made and finely acted. As some critics pointed out, Alma (who is in her 30s) doesn’t really have much power in the relationship; Reynolds (older/wealthier/influential) could throw her out on the street at any time. We don’t learn where Alma comes from (she has a vague/European accent), if she has any family, or what her life was like (before she met Reynolds). 

Does Alma take back some of the power in their relationship? Well, she decides to use the poison mushrooms to slow Reynolds down. He becomes sick temporarily, yet also emotionally vulnerable. She admits that she likes this side of him. The second time, Reynolds consents to being poisoned, eating the omelet she serves w/ great relish. Hmmm… NOT exactly the kind of ending you’d expect from the typical period drama/romance! 

 

Lady Bird (2017) starring Saoirse Ronan, Laurie Metcalf, Tracy Letts, Timothee Chalamet, & Lucas Hedges

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WARNING: This review contains SPOILERS for the film.

In 2002, an artistically inclined seventeen-year-old girl comes of age in Sacramento, California. –IMDB synopsis

This (must-see) film was written and directed by indie actress Greta Gerwig (who is in her early 30s) and the long-time girlfriend/collaborater of writer/director Noah Baumbach. In interviews, Gerwig has referred to her protagonist, Christine (Lady Bird) McPherson, as a much more rebellious teenager than herself. Like Lady Bird (Saoirse Ronan- 24 y.o. yet able to create a VERY convincing 17 y.o.) Gerwig was raised in Sacramento and attended Catholic school. This film is tightly-edited, thoughtful, complicated, yet VERY easy to relate to on many levels. The mother-daughter relationship is what’s being stressed in trailers and reviews; it’s also about friendships, dating, identity, and learning to appreciate what you already have in life.

Lady Bird (“the name I gave myself”) says she comes from “the wrong side of the tracks,” but lives in a warm, colorful, modest house w/ two loving parents, psychiatric nurse Marion (Laurie Metcalf- famous for her role as Jackie on Roseanne) and recently laid-off computer programmer, Larry (actor/playwright Tracy Letts- also seen in The Post). Her older brother, Miguel (Jordan Rodrigues- an Australian of Malaysian heritage), and his girlfriend Shelly (Marielle Scott) live at home also; they’re recent college grads working at a local grocery store. There is a thread if economic uncertainty and unemployment/underemployment in this film. Marion works double shifts at her hospital to make ends meet.

To enhance her college applications, Lady Bird decides to go try out for the school play, along w/ her best friend Julie (Beanie Feldstein- younger sister of actor Jonah Hill). Unlike the waif-like Lady Bird, Julie is a bigger girl who is somewhat insecure, yet VERY supportive/warm. Julie gets the lead in the play; Lady Bird gets a role, BUT is more excited about one of the boys who in the theater program, Danny (Lucas Hedges from Manchester by the Sea). Danny is sweet and respectful; he and Lady Bird spend a LOT time together, meet each others’ families, and say “I love you” to each other. It’s a BIT of a shock (yet NOT improbable) when their relationship comes to an end.

Though Lady Bird is disappointed and hurt, she finds interest in another boy at school, Kyle (Timothee Chalamet from Call Me By Your Name), who plays in a band and enjoys reading. Unlike Danny, Kyle is mysterious and perhaps a too selfish/full of himself. Lady Bird grows distant from Julie (too bad) and becomes friends w/ a popular/pretty girl, Jenna (Odeya Rush), who dates one of Kyle’s friends. Lady Bird puts on a different image/attitude in front of her rich clique of friends.

Marion worries re: her daughter’s future; Lady Bird’s grades aren’t that great, though she dreams of going to a East Coast college (or anywhere to escape Sacramento). Also, her attitude is changing (NOT for the better), as she stands on the edge of adulthood. BOTH women are tough, strong-willed, yet love each other VERY much (though they can’t always express it well). Lady Bird’s soft-spoken dad is willing to listen to her concerns, BUT he’s also going through his own struggles, too.

 

Familiar by Danai Gurira (Wooly Mammoth Theatre)

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Familiar is written by Tony-nominated playwright Danai Gurira (who was born in the US, but raised many years in Zimbabwe). She can be seen in the newest Marvel movie- Black Panther.  (Listen to a recent NPR interview w/ Gurira here: https://www.npr.org/2018/02/17/586172340/danai-gurira-on-her-black-panther-role-she-protects-what-we-would-have-been). Familiar is Wooly’s entry into the Women’s Voices Theater Festival. The play is directed by Theater J artistic director, Adam Immerwahr (one of Gurira’s long-time collaborators).

Donald (Kim Sullivan), a low-key lawyer and partner in his firm, and his high-strung scientist wife, Marvelous (Inga Ballard), are getting ready for the wedding of their older daughter, Tendi (Sharina Martin). Their younger daughter, Nyasha (Shannon Dorsey- I’ve seen her in All the Way and Octoroon), has recently returned from Zimbabwe, and is full of excitement and stories. Unlike religious/straight-laced lawyer Tendi, the much younger Nyasha is a free-spirited musician still finding herself. (Nyasha reminded me of Beneatha Younger, the idealistic/Afrocentric college girl from A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry.) 

Two sisters of Marvelous have come over for the wedding: Margaret (Twinkle Burke)- an adjunct professor who loves wine and Anne (Cheryl Lynn Bruce)- a traditional woman (who stayed behind in the old country). Tendi invited Anne to help w/ the roora (bride price) ceremony, despite the fact that she and her mother don’t get along. Marvelous is shocked, as she does NOT approve of roora. However, Tendi and her white fiance/nonprofit worker, Chris (Drew Kopas), want to honor the elders in this way. It turns out that Chris needs a go-between for the ceremony, so he brings in his younger brother/former soldier, Brad (Andy Truschinski). Misunderstandings, sibling rivalries, hurt feelings, secrets, and a LOT of hilarity ensues! 

I was lucky enough to get tickets (online) to see this play on a pay-what-you-can performance. I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard in the theater before! It’s NOT just about jokes, there are some VERY touching moments (some of which grow out of a long-hidden family secret). I highly recommend it to anyone in the DC area; it’s playing until SUN, MAR 11th (https://www.woollymammoth.net/event/familiar).