ISNA: Take Two

September 12, 2013October 27, 2014 EmmaLeave a comment

Over the past Labor Day weekend (SAT & SUN), I attended the ISNA conference at the DC convention center. Last year, I went on SAT (not knowing what to expect) for the speed dating (which the organization refers to as a “matrimonial banquet”). Laugh or scoff, if you will, but over 400 Muslims (of course, in such a short time, it’s hard to scrutinize level of religious engagement) singles attended. I only met a few local guys, so was disappointed. “It’s OK, you had a new experience,” my mom said. Maybe I overdid it this year? I spent a good amount of time, money, and energy to prep for this event: facial (first time), hairstyling (smoothing), new (good quality) makeup, and even a few new accessories, clothes, and 2 pairs of shoes (cute, but comfy).

On SAT, I was (pleasantly) surprised to see an acquaintance of mine (Pakistani-American) outside the hall. We had hung out twice before earlier in the year, when we were in the same Meetup group. We got to chat, sit together (she’s 31, so in my age group), and generally commiserate over the (somewhat bemusing) event. She is tall, a practicing Muslim, and grew up in a mid-sized Southern city. She has several degrees and works currently for a large non-profit. I know she’s serious about finding a potential spouse- she regularly goes to Muslim speed dating events and has also used ISNA online. (Here is her account of this event!)

Even before the doors were opened, I recognized a few people I had met before. There was a petite Bangladeshi-American woman (my age) who was attending w/ 2 gal pals (or perhaps cousins). I’d met her years ago when I first moved to the DC area; we both went to a few Bangladeshi non-profit events. There were (at least) 4-5 guys I’d met last year, I realized later. (Yes, the Bangladeshi engineer from Phoenix, who doesn’t shake hands w/ women, was there. He was much more relaxed! We know some of the same people from Tucson days.)

As before, I was in the group of gals aged 30-35. We did the “round robin” (term used by the organizer which elicited chuckles) w/ guys aged 32-37. We were sitting in groups of 6 to a table- 3 men and 3 women. The tables were pretty small/narrow this time. People were dressed well, for the most part, though SUN was more casual. The makeup was there, but not overly so (as I’d seen last year). Maybe I was just more relaxed? I tend to get nervous before these types of events, not during.

Last year, I noticed that most of the people were Pakistani-American. I was (pleasantly) surprised to see a more diverse group: Arab, Indian, white (at least 1 man in the older age group), black (esp. among the ladies), and biracial (including a man who was Pakistani and black) folks this year. There were not many parents/relatives in attendance, but a few people did say they came with a sister/cousin/brother/friend (who was also single). There were 3 male friends all the way from Toronto suburbs!

Many of the men were doctors- it seemed more than last year. (“That makes sense- doctors are very busy and don’t have a lot of time for dating,” a Christian friend commented later.) There were other men who were in accounting, finance, engineering, and academia; at least 3 who were career switchers (not rare these days). I met more local (DC/MD/VA) guys on SUN, but only a few on SAT. The event took a long time to start on SAT; we only had 19 rotations (a friendly guy later notified me). On SUN, there were supposed to be 26 rotations, but I highly doubt we had time for that! We got 3 minutes to talk to each person, then there was food and social time (6:45 PM-8:45 PM).

This year, ISNA sent out a profile sheet, which we were to fill out and share with each other. Well, as I expected, some guys didn’t fill it out. Some had business cards, but not all. (“If they’re not serious, then why are they there in the first place?” my mom asked.) I had the sheet and my networking cards, which I had gotten months back to hand out to possible friends.

On SUN, the woman sitting directly next to me (a Pakistani-American corporate lawyer from DC), obviously didn’t want to be there. She wore a long/plain maroon shirt, black leggings, and flat sandals (which were cute). It turns out that we both know the same woman (also a single lawyer from Muslim family)- small world! She pushed her chair back from the little table, thus further away from the men. Even before the event began, she made little effort to be friendly to the others at out table. There was no smile, just (thinly-veiled) annoyance on her face. (“What’s the matter?” “You look preoccupied.” These were comments I overheard men make to her.) Each question was met with a brief answer, even from myself and the third woman (a Pakistani-American woman from NJ). Later, the NJ gal (who also worked for a non-profit) commented: “Seems like some of the people didn’t want to be here… Their parents pushed them into it.”

On SAT, a very dapper guy (that my friend had met earlier this Summer) approached her while we were in line for food. They had gone to the same speed dating event, but he hadn’t had time to contact her (since he was traveling for work). She was a little surprised by this, but he gave her his business card and they chatted a bit. Maybe something will come of it?

Also on SAT, we talked (for some time)with an Indian-American family from the Boston suburbs- a brother (specializing in children’s neurological disorders), his sister (moving to NYC for a new job), and their female cousin (who was mistakenly grouped with slightly younger men). They had never been to such a big gathering, and thought it went pretty well. “There’s nothing like this in Boston,” the doctor commented. They don’t speak Hindi, as I assumed, but Gujarati. All of their family is settled in the US, the cousin said.

On SUN, I talked with a Pakistani IT security guy (living in Virginia), who came to eat at my table. He grew up in Qatar and got his masters in Pakistan. He was nice/polite, but didn’t say too much about himself. The NJ woman and Pakistani/African-American guy seemed to have some things in common. They went off to talk on their own; both very nice, friendly, and intelligent people. Maybe they hit it off? Who knows?

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Time for cherry blossoms… again!

GalleryApril 19, 2013 EmmaLeave a comment

Midnight’s Children (TRAILER)

April 15, 2013June 25, 2013 Emma1 Comment

I saw the film this past Saturday (National Geographic Society); it was part of DC Film Fest. It will be in wide release (US) on Friday, April 26.

Running Time: 146 minutes

Languages: English, Hindi, Urdu

Director: Deepa Mehta (the Canadian Indian filmmaker of Bollywood Hollywood, Earth, Fire, Water, & more)

Screenwriters: Salman Rushdie (British Indian author of the novel; he also does the narration) & Mehta

Starring: Shabana Azmi (Indian; internationally-acclaimed veteran actress), Seema Biswas (Indian; co-starred in Water), Rahul Bose (Indian; indie film actor), Samrat Chakrabarti (British American actor/musician; co-starred in Season 3 of HBO’s In Treatment), Sarita Choudhury (British American; recently seen in Showtime’s Homeland), Charles Dance (British; currently seen on HBO’s Game of Thrones), Khulbushan Kharbanda (Indian veteran actor), Anupam Kher (Indian veteran actor; recently seen in Silver Linings Playbook), Zaib Shaykh (Canadian Pakistani; recently starred on Little Mosque on the Prairie), & several newcomers from the worldwide South Asian diaspora

Director of Cinematography: Giles Nuttgens (British; has worked on all of Mehta’s films)

Soundtrack Composer: Nitin Sawhney (British Indian)

Indonesian Mini Film Festival (March 25-27)

March 29, 2013June 25, 2013 EmmaLeave a comment

Introduction

About 400 films are made in the U.S. each year. Even more (600) are made in India. But, did you know that about 100 films are made in Indonesia each year? The Indonesian ambassador to the U.S., Dr. Dino Patti Jalal, and his wife were joined by the Singaporean ambassador’s wife, actor Nicholas Saputra (star of Joni’s Promise), and members of his staff during the first film showing. Recently, Dr. Jalal met with Hollywood director Michael Mann, who will be shooting his film, The Philosopher, in Jakarta. The film’s lead actor will be Aussie actor, Chris Hemsworth.

Lovely Man (2011)

Screeshot from the Indonesian drama, Lovely Man — A daughter gets to know her absentee father for one night

This is a 75 minute film, but it packs some big punches. (It won many awards in Asia.) It focuses on the relationship between a transvestite streetwalker in Jakarta and a small-town/devout Muslim teen, who just happen to be father and daughter. Without telling her mother, Cahaya (Raihaanun), travels by train to see the father who left home many years back. Cahaya is dressed conservatively and wears a white hijab (headscarf). When she gets off the train, she stops at a mosque to wash and pray. She’s amazed by the sights and sounds of the big city, as she goes in search of her father’s address. (This film uses shadow and lights very well.) At the side of a bridge, she talks to some women (who are obviously streetwalkers). She meets Ipuy (Donny Damara)- dressed in long wig, sparkly red dress, and high heels (reminiscent of some of the characters in the films of Pedro Almodovar). Needless to say, they are both shocked.

Ipuy wants nothing to do with Cahaya- his life is tough enough as it is. Most people look at him with disgust and treat him unfairly. What would a hijabi like her know about someone like him? (Eventually, Cahaya takes off her hijab, to make her father more comfortable.) She’s carrying a secret, which is giving her much worry. Cahaya exclaims that she needs a father to talk to about important matters. What she doesn’t know is that some gangsters are after Ipuy for stealing a lot of cash.

Joni’s Promise (2005)

This funny, light-hearted film is considered to be “one of the first comedies made in Indonesia.” (It reminded me of a French comedy.) A 22 year-old man, Joni (Nicholas Saputra) delivers film reels- a job he likes and considers to be quite important. One afternoon, she sees a very pretty girl standing in line at the theater, but he’s too nervous to talk to her. We learn that she’s with her boyfriend (an entitled rich kid). She gets fed up with her guy, so she goes out. She notices Joni’s good nature and they have a chat. She doesn’t get her name or get give his out. The girl says that they can talk more of he gets done with his deliveries on time. Joni is happy with that- he’s never had a girlfriend yet. Joni’s motorbike gets stolen, he witnesses childbirth, gets a walk-on role in a film, plays the drums, and meets a mysterious artist. Can he make it back to the theater to have his first date?

The Dancer (2011)

This is a full-length historical drama based on a trilogy of novels. The story focuses on the love between two young people in the village of Dukuh Paruk in Java. As a small child, the parents of Srintil are killed by some fellow villagers, who believed that they were poisoning food. The ronngeng (village dancer) also died- she ate the food.

The teenaged Srintil (Prisia Nasution) and Rasus (Oka Antara) love each other deeply, though they are poor, illiterate, and don’t have many prospects. Rasus works in the rice paddy fields, like the other young men. However, Srintil thinks that she may have the spirit and the talent to become ronggeng. Her grandfather champions her cause, even though they are first met with doubt and derision. The local dance master won’t come to see Srintil perform.

Srintil goes through various rituals to become ronggeng

Rasus has a little dagger-like object which belonged to the former ronggeng. After he presents it to Srintil, everyone proclaims her to be the next ronngeng. She will not only dance , but belong to the village. Her virginity will be sold to the highest bidder- a fact that greatly upsets Rasus. (The elderly blind drummer is the only older person who senses what is going on with the couple.) Rasus runs away to the nearest town, then meets with a military commander (who thinks he could one day become a “loyal” soldier).

Srintil realizes that Rasus has joined the military

Srintil has to go through various rituals, aided by the dance master’s wife. Men bring goats, cows, and money to present to her grandfather and teacher. Before the “deflowering” ceremony, Rasus returns and they sneak off together. Later that night, Srintil pushes him away, explaining that she can’t run away with him forever. (We know that she has status and money in her community now.)

Srintil shines as a dancer (but not in her personal life)

While Srintil adapts to the lifestyle of a dancer, Rasus adapts to that of a soldier. His superiors look on him well and he finally learns to read. He crosses paths with Srintil on very few occasions. They only spend one more night together, but their lives must always be separate. When Srintil urges him to come back to the village and offers money to start his own business, Rasus refuses (too proud).

A (Communist) man from the city comes to talk to the villagers, but they only want more food, and don’t grasp what allegiance to his ideas truly mean. (In fact, 1965-1966 was a very bloody year was Indonesia’s history. Many people, who were thought to be Communist or sympathizers, were killed by the military.) This man also wants Srintil and village musicians to perform at his rallies.

Rasus and Srintil meet after the1965 war — Rasus and Srintil meet after the 1965 war

This film is very powerful! It won the 2011 Best Picture award in Indonesia and was submitted for a Foreign Film Academy Award. It just draws you in with it’s setting, characters, and values (which are quite different from those of urbanized, modern Indonesia). The love story starts out very gently and innocently, then we see the darker aspects (depression, frustration, etc.)- this pair must stay apart because of Srintil’s chosen path. Being a village dancer was being above others- connected to the gods (ancestors.)