Tag: Islam

My ISNA experience

Emma7 Comments

Hey all!

Every once in a while, you have a “fish out of water” moment.  One such moment happened to me last SAT when I attended the ISNA Matrimonial Banquet (basically speeddating on steroids w/ chaperones) here in DC.  I didn’t take my camera along, so I don’t have pics to share.  My dad wanted to see some pics!  I wore a dressy beige pleated blouse with small white dots (H&M), white capri pants (The Loft), dressy metallic silver-colored flats w/ silver decorations (Anne Klein), and some coordinating jewelry (small pearl earrings, beaded necklace, and rings).  It was a very hot/humid day, but I was very comfortable in this outfit.  I wore make-up (which I usually don’t do), but it was very natural.

Though most of the talks/seminars/etc. were held in the Walter Washington Convention Center, the banquet was held in a large ballroom a block away at the Renaissance Hotel.  I didn’t know what to expect!  Before the event, I noticed a petite young lady (also w/ glasses) on the metro; she was wearing a dressy salwar suit.  I guessed (correctly) that we were headed to the same place.  Also on the same train were 2 college gal pals who chatted happily in both English and Arabic; they wore badges around denoting that the were volunteers at ISNA.

When I got inside the convention center, it was about 3:45PM.  I’m running late, I thought!  I walked for a while, then finally got to the registration booth.  I had to wait in line to find out where exactly the event was being held; I wasn’t alone, there were several others w/ slightly confused expressions.   The gal from the metro walked over to the hotel w/ me and we chatted.  She was in her late 20s, very sweet, and Pakistani-American.  She decided to come upon the recommendation of a close gal pal (who attended ISNA in Chicago last year).  “How else are you going to meet people?” she commented.  We got our badges from the college-age volunteers,  then talked/joked for a while.  She commented that there were so many beautiful outfits.  I realized that I wasn’t that nervous after all.

The environment seemed a bit tense (and disorganized) to me, at first, since so many people were gathered around in the hallways and corridors.  A few people were in groups, either w/ their family members or friends who were at the event.  It seemed like almost every woman had some sort of designer purse!  Hardly anyone was wearing jeans; it was all dresses, salwar kameezes, suits, and glamorous make-up.  There was some wait time (15 mins.) before we could go into the room,  so I went off to wash my hands and brush my hair.  Several young gals were getting ready, all dressed to the nines (according to their tastes).  There were 2 sisters (one wearing a headscarf, the other not) fixing their makeup while their mom and grandma waited to another side.

When it was time to go into the event, there was some confusion.  Should we line up or just file in?  The volunteers ushered us in; I noticed that some of these folks were older women.  There were many long tables; the few round small tables were for the parents/relatives.  There was just water to drink at this time.  As with speeddating events I’d attended in the past, the women were on one side and the men were on the other side of the table.  The men rotated; the women stayed seated.  We were seated according to our age group, I learned from one of the guys.   (The gals in my group were aged 30-35; the guys were 32-37.)  I think the largest group consisted of the 25-30 age group; they had more rows of tables, we had 2 rows.

The lady sitting on my right was Pakistani-American (raised overseas), very petite, quiet (at first), serious, and wore a cotton salwar suit of black and white.  The white embroidery was really intricate/pretty; she got it from the old country.  She didn’t wear a headscarf, but covered her hair with her dupatta (the long cloth that coordinates  with salwar suits).  Unlike most of the other gals, she wore no makeup, but I though she had a nice face w/ very small features.  She looked a bit worried, so I decided to chat w/ her.  She was studying for her Masters (CRN) and lived in a small Michigan town.  She had never been to this type of event either, so she asked me more about it.  I didn’t know many details, but we soon learned (from one of the guys sitting nearby) that the event was 4 hours long!  He showed us a folder with a schedule inside; some people had them, but most of us didn’t.

The guys sitting across from us were very nice and easy to talk to.  Since it took quite a long time for everyone to take their seats, and for the moderators/volunteers to get started, we had time to get to know each other.  The lady on my left was petite and very pretty; she wore a beautiful teal-colored blazer, jeans, and very high-heeled shoes.  She was wearing a lot of makeup, even though she didn’t need it.  She was from Memphis, TN, and had attended this event twice before.  She talked mostly with the gal on her left.

Once we got started, we talked with each guy for 3 minutes.  Few people commented that 4 or 5 mins would’ve been better.  I was pleasantly surprised to see that most of the men were born/raised in the West (US, UK, and Canada).  A good segment of the guys (perhaps 50%) were Pakistani-American.  I was disappointed that hardly anyone brought their business cards!  (ISNA should’ve been more clear about that.)  I had my networking cards; I gave them out to the (few) guys who were living in the DC area.   (FYI: ISNA doesn’t store any info on anyone in any database, so you have to be proactive.)

A little after 6PM, we got a short break.  This was the time to get some fresh air, food, etc.  I called my dad and mom to give them my impression.  The food was not what I expected!  (Hey, we paid $79 for a “banquet,” didn’t we?)  There were a few tables outside the ballroom with bread, cheeses, crackers, 2 types of pasta, 2 types of sauce, cookies, brownies, tea, and coffee.  I grabbed a bit of food before it was time to go back in around 6:30PM.

A couple who met at ISNA back in 2010 said a few words.  Well, the wife (American desi) spoke a bit, the hubby (immigrant) not so much.  (He looked nervous.)  An imam from the ADAMS Center (from Sterling, VA) did his speech and recited a brief prayer.  I didn’t understand all of what he was saying b/c of his thick accent; he was an African immigrant with a fluffy salt and pepper beard.  I had heard of his center from some Bangladeshi American acqaintances of mine.  One guy rudely mumbled: “I didn’t sign-up for this!”  That was unnecessary, if you ask me.   Then we had the 2nd round of mini-dates, followed by the social hour (started at 8PM).  This was the time to get some more food and talk to anyone you chose.  By 8:30PM, I was pretty tired, as were many others.  Some were waiting around for their friends or family to call or pick them up.  Overall, it was a good experience!  (Some of the men thought so, too.)

Below are my notes on the single guys I met, starting w/ where they were from, profession, etc.

1) Chicago, business analyst, very handsome, great hair & personality, friends volunteered at ISNA & encouraged him to attend, dad is a food scientist who verfies halal food products/businesses, got to know a lot about him (b/c it took long time for event to start)

2) MD, airport shuttle bus driver, fluffy beard, socially awkward (didn’t say much & complained about the ISNA set-up), was the only African guy I noticed at the event (surprisingly)

3) Not sure where he was from, balding, glasses, lawyer (went to Cooley, like I did for 2 terms); I had a “foot in mouth” moment when I said “I didn’t go to a good law school” (but he didn’t mind).

4) Small town MN, finishing training to be cardiologist, raised outside Liverpool, England, great smile/personality, came w/ mom & younger sister, really enjoyed talking w/ him

5) Philly, orthopedic surgeon at St. Luke’s

6) Philly, bald, light-colored eyes (bluish), software engineer & owns a car dealership, very confidant

7) Chicago, MSU, dr.

8) Charlotte, same name as famous Bollywood actor, business analyst & web designer, very handsome, very confidant, really liked talking w/ him

9) Philly, pharmacist (like my little sister), his sister lives in Indiana (like my mom)

10) Philly, healthcare IT PM

11) Toronto, accountant, short hair, nice looks, dressed very well in tweed jacket (his dad’s), confidant, very easy to talk to, told me about R.I.S. conference (held each year around X-mas in his town)

12) NJ, family dr.

13) MD, raised in Kuwait until college, family originally from India, works as a web developer for small Arlington-based company (will look up, since I need a job), nice hair, glasses, pleasant (but a bit shy), was a little overwhelmed my the number of people & noise, talked w/ him later during social hour, asked him to keep in touch (since we’re both local)

14) VA, dentist, balding, serious demeanor, grew up in Pakistan (I assumed), at social hour he talked w/ the woman who had been sitting on my right (they exchanged cell #s and spoke a bit in Urdu)

15) DC, grew up in Washington state, neatly trimmed little beard, diplomatic job w/ State Dept (gave out his business card), while talking he was sending text messages (not cool)

16) Fresno, CA, engineer, easygoing, chatty (we mainly talked re: movies)

17) Small town AK, Comp Sci PhD student planning to stay in US & teach, from Turkey, pleasant but reserved (didn’t reveal much)

18) TX, works for internet start-up

19) VA, works at IBM (contractor to DOD), we talked re: jobs

20) NYC, internet communications (own business)

21) VA, lived all over the world, pleasant, has his own consulting business, wrote down his email for me (when I mentioned looking for a job)

22) MD, bald, works in construction management, family all in MD also, easy to talk to, gave me his business card

23) Calgary (Ontario), Pakistani immigrant, shy, barely said anything (was shuffling some papers)

24) St. Louis (but moving to San Fran), dentist, loves traveling, originally from Egypt, too excited (IMO)

25) Chicago, really into sports, sys mgr in transportation industry

26) NYC (Brooklyn), was sitting at the end of my table at start of event, dressed more casually than others (black T & dark-colored jeans), very confidant, great smile, talked w/ him after break and at social hour.

27) TX, dressed up (dark suit w/ charcoal shirt), financial analyst, nice eyes, cofidant (but in easygoing way), very easy to talk w/ him

28) Ontario, had a good convo w/ him (but can’t recall it- LOL)

29) TX, expressive, anesthesiologist

30) Chandler (AZ), small beard, works for Amazon, got his BS, MS, & PhD from UA (Tucson), has been in US since 1993, knows many of the same Bangladeshi Americans that my family & I knew back in our Tucson days (prior to 2002), also knows acqaintance of mine from NYC (who recently married a woman from Tucson), very reserved/conservative (didn’t shake hands)

31) Chicago suburb, Chase project manager, didn’t say much

Wow, that was a long post! (FYI: About 400 singles came to this event.)

Thanks for reading,

Emma

P.S. For a single guy’s take, read Looking for Love and Finding Awkwardness at ISNA.

Here is a Washington Post article re: the event.

P.P.S.  Since I NEVER learn the first time, here’s my account of the second convention!

I got quoted!!!

Emma3 Comments

http://dcentric.wamu.org/2011/05/osama-bin-laden-is-dead-d-cs-south-asian-muslims-react

Osama bin Laden is Dead: D.C’s South Asian Muslims React

By Anna John

May 4, 2011

Afshan Khoja, a Muslim of Pakistani descent who lives in the DC area, was in tears after President Obama announced the death of Osama bin Laden.

“It wasn’t because I was happy about bin Laden’s death, it was because suddenly all the things that September 11th have done to me, my religion and my country, came back to me: The fear of being asked questions while traveling; the immediate requirement to defend my religion not only when people asked why Muslims hate America, but also when terrorists did anything that could remotely be associated with Muslims; the feeling that somehow, I’ll always be ‘the other’ in America.”

Mou Khan, a Bangladeshi-American, also found herself reflecting on September 11th, after learning of bin Laden’s death.

“I remember exactly where I was when I first heard that a plane had struck one of the towers of the World Trade Center. My memories are deeply personal, like when a schoolmate I didn’t know called me a terrorist…now, confronted with the news that Osama bin Laden, the man behind the tragedy, has been killed, I find myself conflicted.

“I cannot find it within myself to celebrate violence and extrajudicial killing, no matter how strong an urge for vengeance the trauma of September 11th left me,” said Khan, in reference to the celebration that took place in front of the White House as news broke of bin Laden’s death.

“I find myself deeply uncomfortable with the unbridled nationalistic celebrations that broke out across the country. Was it all worth it now that we know bin Laden’s blood has been shed? Is speaking up and asking questions during this fervor unpatriotic?”

Khan was not the only one with questions. News outlets like NPR asked, “Is It Wrong To Celebrate Bin Laden’s Death?”

Khoja wondered about the aftermath of such public displays of patriotism.

“When I heard the chants of “U-S-A, U-S-A” I felt fear. I don’t understand why, but I wanted to lock my doors. This morning I heard about vandalism and graffiti at a mosque. Between yesterday and today, three people have already asked me why the Pakistani government didn’t know that Osama was in Pakistan for years – I don’t know!

“The fact is, regardless of this news, none of that has stopped. This may be a significant blow to a terrorist network, but for a Pakistani Muslim living in the US, I’m not sure if it changes anything.”

Emma Khan (no relation to Mou Khan) whose family is originally from Bangladesh, said she thought all the singing and shouting was understandable. “Sometimes, people want to get together for huge events like this; it’s a victory for the US.”

Ibrahim Hooper, the National Communications Director for the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) wasn’t surprised at the public celebrations.

“That is almost inevitable in situations like this. I think it’s a temporary phenomenon based on the ten years it took to track down Osama bin Laden. I hope it doesn’t spill over in to hyper-patriotism.”

Shahid Buttar, a local performance artist and civil rights lawyer worried that other issues were being obscured by the focus on bin-Laden’s death.

“While it’s an exciting national security development, it does very little to address the ongoing constitutional crisis that emerged after the 2001 attack. I hope it allows the restoration of sanity here in the U.S. I’m glad (President) Obama is achieving gains in the war on terror, but the idea that we’d meet the death of any individual with chants of ‘USA, USA!’ reflects a shallowness in our understanding of these events and their implications.”

When the President addressed the nation, he emphasized that the war on terror was not a war on Islam:

As we do, we must also reaffirm that the United States is not –- and never will be -– at war with Islam. I’ve made clear, just as President Bush did shortly after 9/11, that our war is not against Islam. Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader; he was a mass murderer of Muslims. Indeed, al-Qaeda has slaughtered scores of Muslims in many countries, including our own. So his demise should be welcomed by all who believe in peace and human dignity.

Ibrahim Hooper said, “I think he struck the appropriate tone and clearly said we’re not at war with Muslims. I think he hit it just right.”

But Khoja said it will take more than Presidential words to address how Muslims are treated in post 9/11-America.

“While the administration did make specific statements supporting Islam, I feel like there’s a lot more work to be done. Ten years of dealing with hate crimes, backlash, alienation and “otherization” will not just go away. But I do think that this is an opportunity for us to take a step back, learn from our mistakes, and perhaps revisit some our values – of tolerance, diversity, acceptance, justice and peace. I hope that we’ll find a space and forum to do that.”

Movies I’ve seen recently…

Emma1 Comment

An Education (2009)

I saw this smart indie movie over Thanksgiving break w/ my mom in Indy; we both liked it very much.  The writing is terrific, and the actors fit their roles perfectly.   Jenny (24 y.o. rising Brit Carey Mulligan) is a pretty, intelligent, and wise-beyond-her-years schoolgirl in early ’60s suburban London.  Her ambitious parents, esp. father Jack (Alfred Molina), are prepping her to attend Oxford the following year.  Jenny thinks she can make it to Oxford, but she also wants to know more about the world; she loves anything French, and dreams of going to Paris.

One rainy day, Jenny meets David (Peter Sarsgaard, the only American in this British cast), a charming man in his 30s.  Their relationship develops slowly, unlike many other movies with the younger woman-older man dynamic.  David has sophisticated/fun-loving friends (Rosamund Pike and Dominic Cooper), and introduces Jenny to a world of fine art, food, music, etc.  Jenny eventually falls in love with David, and it feels like her life has finally begun.  But David is not all that he seems…

 

Fighter (2007)

This is a Danish martial arts drama that is a combination of The Karate Kid and Bend it Like Beckham.  Aicha is an athletic, determined high school senior from a working-class Turkish Muslim family in North Copenhagen.  Her dad (who she’s very close to) wants her to be a doctor, like her older brother.  “I don’t want you to struggle like me,” he says in a regretful tone.

But Aicha is struggling in school, and she has a secret- she loves (and is very good at) kung-fu.  Against her father’s wishes, Aicha sneaks around to train at an exclusive martial arts club.   She quickly discovers that she’s better than most of the boys there.  A cute blonde boy she trains with, Emil, develops a crush on her.  Though Aicha is gaining skill/confidence/respect doing something she loves, she is also taking a huge risk in the eyes of her family/community.           

Trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njeLU_uvhM8

More about the film:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0995029/

  

The Shop Around the Corner (1940) 

This is a classic comedy (starring Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullivan) that is funny, quirky, and sweet.  Alfred Kralik (Stewart) is the top salesman at small shop in Budapest where Klara  Novak (Sullivan) desperately comes to look for a job.  The owner is convinced by her words, and agrees to take her on, but Mr. Kralik is not too happy.

Stewart is great (as always) as a young/hardworking guy with dreams of meeting the woman of his dreams and proposing to her on Christmas.   It turns out that his anonymous pen pal is Klara, a woman who annoys (and yet attracts) him with her personality.

This movie was remade twice- In the Good Old Summertime (in 1949 w/ Judy Garland and Van Johnson) and You’ve Got Mail (in 1998 w/ Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks).

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0033045/

 

“The Visitor” (2007)

Emma4 Comments

TheVisitor_cover

This is a must-see indie film about NYC, immigrants, and (above all) the importance of connection.  It’s a small budget film that packs a big emotional punch!  His role as Walter Vale, a lonely/ widowed academic, earned veteran character actor Richard Jenkins a Best Actor Oscar nomination at age 62. 

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The Visitor was written/directed by another character actor, Tom McCarthy. 

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Walter (Richard Jenkins) travels from his suburban home in Connecticut to his NYC apartment to attend a seminar (about global development issues) at NYU.  The mild-mannered professor is shocked to discover that his apartment is already occupied by a young couple in their 20s- a Syrian drummer, Tarek Khalil (Haaz Sleiman), and his Senegalese girlfriend, Zainab (Danai Gurira), who makes/sells jewelry.  These young people(both Muslim, BTW) are very embarrassed by the situation, but they have nowhere else to go.  Walter gives them permission to stay for as long as they need.  He is intrigued by Tarek and Zainab, two people a guy like him doesn’t meet every day.

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Walter is also intrigued by the drum that Tarek, a joyous/big-hearted guy, plays in Central Park and little clubs around the city.  Tarek encourages the hesitant Walter (a classical music fan) to try the drum as well.  Soon, they are good friends, much to the chagrin of Zainab.  She often has a serious expression on her face, and we sense that she is nervous about something.  On the street, Zainab is wary of police.  One night, she admits to Walter that she and Tarek overstayed their visas (so are now of illegal status). 

TheVisitor_detention

One day, while getting on the subway, Tarek is stopped by two plainclothes NYPD officers.  “He did nothing wrong!” Walter exclaims with bewilderment.  Walter can’t believe his eyes when his new friend is quickly taken into police custody, and then to a detention center in Long Island City, Queens.  (Well, he is a Muslim man living in the U.S. post-9/11.)  Even more shocking is the fact that over 300 people are in that center, including children! 

TheVisitor_ladies

Walter consoles Zainab by explaining that he’s arranged for an immigration attorney to handle Tarek’s case.  “He can’t stay in that place!” Zainab exclaims, feeling that being in such an environment will crush Tarek’s spirit.  Zainab can’t bring herself to visit the detention center, but Walter goes each day to check on Tarek.  Zainab is grateful for Walter’s help, yet deeply saddened by the turn of events.  Zainab leaves Walter’s apartment to stay with a cousin.

TheVisitor_PotO

Tarek’s mother, Mouna (Hiam Abbas), arrives from Michigan when she doesn’t hear news from her son.  She’s surprised to learn that Tarek shared a place with Walter.  Sensing Mouna’s sadness and worry, he  insists that she stay in the apartment, too.  “You can use Tarek’s room,” Walter says.  He tries to make her feel comfortable during a very difficult time.  They share a strong connection as well, though it doesn’t turn romantic.    

Will Walter’s kindly efforts help Tarek stay in the US?  How will Zainab, Mouna, and Walter come to terms with the final decision?  Watch the film to find out! 

Movie Trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlFcmm1pq9g

More details:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0857191/

A documentary re: Bangladesh

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Today I saw a documentary film (along with few new friends of mine) at Busboys & Poets (5th & K sts branch).  This event was sponsored by Drishtipat DC, one branch of a non-profit organization that promotes Bangladeshi culture.  This docu (which will be part of a trilogy about Bangladesh) was very timely, informative, and thought-provoking.

“Portrait of Jihad”, the latest documentary by renowned filmmaker, Shahriar Kabir, depicts the advent of Islamic militancy in secular Bangladesh. In this expose, he interviews members of Harkatul Jihad and other militant groups and unmasks their involvement with state machinaries.

Now, some of you may feel fundamentalism is not very common in Bangladesh.  That’s a big problem in Pakistan, you have heard.   But come on, the mainstream media rarely discusses Bangladesh!  Shahriar Kabir interviewed several young Bangladeshi men (in their 20s and 30s) who have travelled to places like Bosnia and Libya to train or carry out acts of terror.  A few allowed their faces to be seen; others’ faces were hidden under sunglasses, veils, or shadows.

Over the past 10 years or so, I have heard many comments about Bangladesh becoming “more conservative” and “less friendly” from former students, relatives, and friends.  These folks hail from different backgrounds and visited different regions within the country.  One of my old college friends (who was born/raised in BD) commented that when she went to her ancestral village (in 2002), the ladies in her family “had to cover up more.”  Otherwise, they’d get “long/mean stares” from some locals.   Not everyone , she added, but some young men noticebaly disapproved.

After the film, the audience got to ask the director, Shahriar Kabir, questions related to the film.  Kabir, a  soft-spoken man in his 60s, has screened this film in several universities in the NY/NJ area, and will be traveling to Houston tomorrow.  Portrait of Jihad will be edited because some material needs to be cleared up and a few subtitles are not correct, Kabir said.    

There are some people (expatriots) who don’t want to admit anything is wrong with their country of origin/birth/youth.  They see “the old country” as a faraway dream-world where nothing changes.  Since many left decades ago, their vision of their homeland is not very realistic.   People are simple, pure/honest, and in freeze-frame.  This is not true, of course.

When our van got a flat tire on the way from Chittagong to Cox’s Bazaar, we got out to see the  scenery of a little village while an uncle and his driver went to buy a spare tire.  We met a young man and little boy (who looked less than 12 y.o.) selling tea and snacks by the road.  An aunt asked the boy (she can speak the Chittagong dialect) why he wasn’t in school.  He matter-of-factly said that he’d gone to school until the 5th grade, but now there was none for him to attend (except the local madrassa school).  His parents didn’t want him to go to that school (probably because they knew he wouldn’t learn anything useful there).  Or perhaps they feared negative religious influences?

In madrassas (as some of you may know), the focus is on reciting and memorizing the Koran.  This is not necessarily a negative thing, and all madrassas are not connected to fundamentalism, extremism, or terrorism.   But the kids who attend these schools are not learning a skill or trade to get a job in the real world.  The people who run these schools fail to see the plain truth- not all kids can become scholars!  Even in the US, it’s very difficult to become a scholar (get a PhD, become a full professor, publish articles, etc.)  A very small percentage of the boys in madrassas will be able to get scholarships for further study (college).  But what will happen to the others?  What will be their future?

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From Wikipedia:

Shahriar Kabir is a Bangladeshi journalist, filmmaker and human rights activist. He is the author of more than 70 books focusing on human rights, communalism, fundamentalism, history, and the Bangladesh war of independence. He is the recipient of numerous awards for his contribution to Bengali literature. Shahriar Kabir has been imprisoned twice for protesting against government-sponsored minority persecution and was declared a prisoner of conscience by Amnesty International.

http://www.secularvoiceofbangladesh.org